


home is where the heart is

by primrosejeno



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha Lee Jeno, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Domestic Fluff, Happy Birthday Na Jaemin, Light Angst, M/M, Omega Na Jaemin, domestic parents nomin, markhyuck if you squint extremely hard, they have a cute baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25872370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/primrosejeno/pseuds/primrosejeno
Summary: Jeno comes home from a long day to celebrate his boyfriend Jaemin's birthday.Home being Jaemin himself.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 29
Kudos: 302





	home is where the heart is

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is my (very late) birthday fic for our nana, our jaemin ♡
> 
> i hope you guys enjoy it!

Jeno was very giddy as he typed the password to their apartment. In his hand, he carries a cake box that he bought earlier this afternoon to surprise his boyfriend tonight.

"I'm home!" he not so loudly announces, informing his arrival as he takes off his shoes. He placed the cake box on top of the shoe cabinet for the meantime since he can't bring it in yet and ruin his surprise.

He entered the living room to be greeted with his boyfriend sitting on the carpet with the little demon blabbering incoherent words while holding a few building blocks.

Jaemin looked up at him when he placed his backpack on the couch, his smile growing as he watched Jeno walk towards them. He stood up and immediately wrapped his arms around Jeno's nape, burying his face on his alpha's scent glands. _Black coffee and bourbon and rainforest._ Jeno wrapped his arms around Jaemin's slender waist, pressing kisses at the side of his head while his eyes stayed at the little man playing with his blocks.

"Welcome home, Jen. Thank you for your hard work today." he mumbled out as Jaemin drowns in his favorite scent, his words sending vibrations all over Jeno's body.

Jeno's hand reached up to Jaemin's cheek, gently guiding it up so they're face to face and Jeno did not waste time to press a kiss on his darling lips. They were chapped, like they usually are, but they're familiar. He grew to love Jaemin's dry lips, which gave him extra permission to lick them from its lack of moisture. When they pulled away, Jeno's hand was still cradling Jaemin's cheek, the other leaning into his warm touch.

"Sorry for coming home late. We were supposed to celebrate your birthday." he looked up at the clock hanging on the wall above their TV to see that it was 8:24 PM. "Jinyoung should've been asleep by now." and as if on cue, Jinyoung starts babbling a little bit louder making both of them look at his direction and see him looking up at both of them, waggling his quite chubby arms in the air with a triangle shaped block on his hand. He then made grabby hands and Jaemin coos.

Jeno looked at Jaemin to see him affectionately smile at their child and Jeno can't help but kiss his forehead.

Jaemin left a small kiss on his cheek then pulled away from their hug to sit back down on the carpeted floor, picking up his baby to sit on his lap.

"He slept at 5 PM, then woke up quarter to 8. He probably sensed that you're on your way home." Jaemin said as he poked Jinyoung's cheeks, the baby looking blankly at him with his giant droopy eyes which were the same as Jeno's.

Jinyoung is pretty much a carbon copy of Jeno, looking almost exactly like Jeno when he was a baby. Almost because he doesn't have the beauty mark Jeno has underneath his right eye, and luckily for Jaemin, he has his lips. But other than that, he's completely a tiny Lee Jeno. He's also 90 percent sure that he'll present as an alpha.

Jeno then sat in front of them, watching the most important people in his life with fondness welling up his eyes. Jaemin saw his boyfriend looking at them and smiled at him, lifting the baby so that he's now facing Jeno.

"Look baby, who's that? Who's that, hmm?" Jaemin said in hushed whispers as he pointed at Jeno, giving Jinyoung's chubby and almost droopy cheeks kisses in the middle of it.

Jinyoung looked at Jeno as if he was scanning him, his eyes blinking the same way as Jeno does when he's figuring something out. A smile spread out in the little guy's face when he realized the second face he was most familiar with.

The baby then made grabby hands directed at Jeno, his little hands opened and closed, dropping his triangle building block. Then he was back to blabbering a million words but there was a 'dadada' in between making Jaemin squeal. He's been teaching him that.

Jeno then opened his arms, inviting the boy for a hug. They've been doing this often to practice the 10 month-old to walk. And of course his baby's acing it.

Jaemin guided his child to stand up, lifting him up and putting a supportive hand on his back to balance the little boy. Jeno watches his son, with determination all over the little boy's face, as he slowly waddles towards him. Cheeks jiggling like jelly with every step he takes and Jeno just wants to bite them.

"That's right, baby, easy steps. Easy steps, my love." Jaemin cheers behind him. Their doctor told them to always give encouragement to Jinyoung when he's doing something. And you best believe Jaemin will hype his kid up whatever situation it may be.

When he was only a step away from Jeno, Jinyoung looked up at his dad from where he was looking at the floor, as if telling him 'Dad, this is my last step.' And when Jinyoung did, Jeno swooped him off his feet, wrapping his arms securely around his son and attacking his fluffy cheeks with what felt like hundreds of kisses. Jinyoung's loud giggles fill the living room, with Jeno's side comments of 'That's my little champ's.

Jaemin watched the whole ordeal with a content smile, phone in his hand as he took pictures of both his cuties.

Jinyoung then reached for Jeno's face and slapped, more like tapped because there was no weight to them, his face as he giggled.

After a while of Jeno booping his son's face and tickling him all over, Jinyoung eventually yawned.

"Oh, that's a big yawn. Someone's sleepy." Jeno said, opening his mouth in sync with Jinyoung, imitating his yawn.

"Seepy." Jinyoung repeats. He can understand a lot more now, knowing what Jaemin wants him to do most of the time. He's also been imitating some of the words they've been saying which is good because he's starting to learn his words now. Jaemin thinks Jinyoung is quite a fast learner and is intelligent for being 10 months-old, he knows he took after Jeno for that one as well.

"Let's eat now? Before he falls asleep?" Jeno said looking up at Jaemin who's already standing up. With their son in his arms, he followed Jaemin to the kitchen where he saw the table set already.

Everything on the table looked incredibly appetizing. His bowl had heart shaped seaweed in them but Jeno wouldn't have it any other way because his boyfriend is an amazing chef.

There's kimchi stew, potato pancakes, grilled pork and some side dishes prettily arranged at the table. There's also a plate of cupcakes in the middle, Jaemin said Jisung and Chenle brought them earlier when they dropped by.

He put Jinyoung down on his high chair in the middle of him and Jaemin's chair.

"Food looks amazing, Nana." Jeno sat down, almost salivating at the smell. He looks at Jaemin to see his lover smiling while putting on Jinyoung's feeding bib.

"Just eat." Jaemin said with a smile, wiping their child's hand clean then handing the little boy a tiny rice ball for him to eat.

Jeno took a spoonful of the soup and hummed, satisfied with the taste and the warmth. He then continued to wolf down the food, savoring the flavor of everything because he missed the taste of Jaemin's home cooked meals.

On the other hand, Jaemin watched and helped Jinyoung eat. He eats as well but his eyes are mostly focused on his baby who has rice balls in both hands, cutely munching on both with his tiny teeth.

Jaemin just let them both eat their food as if he starves both of them, which he absolutely does not. But he can't help but smile. This never happens anymore, the three of them eating dinner together in their small dining area.

His heart feels satisfied.

"So, how was your day?" Jaemin asked curiously, looking at Jeno's direction after handing Jinyoung his sippy cup.

"Nothing special, really." Jeno answered, busy cutting up some potato pancake and shoving it in his mouth. "Oh! There was a sleepover in my English class. I think there were just 20 of us who weren't asleep and there's 50 of us in that class!" he continued his story with food still in his mouth and his cute mannerisms. Jeno tends to tell his story with his eyes growing as the story intensifies. It's extremely adorable.

"My professor was well aware of it but she let it slide, saying it's my classmates' loss not her's."

Jeno proceeded on telling more of some anecdotes of his day. From learning how to make this new latte from the coffee shop he was working in and explaining how he was sure Jaemin would love it to getting tipped by this random family from his second job because he showed their toddler where the bathroom is.

And Jaemin smiled brightly as he listened to his boyfriend go off about his day.

"What about you, Nana? How was your day, baby?" Jeno asked, leaning back into his seat as he rubbed his stomach from all the food he's been chowing down. "I think I ate too much." he breathed out but then he's still holding onto his chopsticks and reaching for a piece of meat.

"Well, Ji and Chenle dropped by earlier today." Jaemin started. "They looked after Jinyoung while I was in my online class which was extremely helpful."

"By 'they' you mean mostly Chenle, right?" Jeno said, now putting down his chopsticks and reaching for his glass of water.

Jaemin snickered as he took a bite from his food. He patted himself on the back in his mind, satisfied with how the food turned out.

"Yeah. Jisung was still reluctant to carry him but he played with Jinyoung just fine." he looked at his son to check on him, rice balls still in both the baby's grip so he thinks he can focus on eating for a while.

Jaemin carried on talking about their younger friends' visit. He even pointed out that it was Chenle who baked the cupcakes with the help of Renjun last night. Jeno looked at the cupcakes and pondered if he wanted one. His stomach doesn't want one so he just looked away. Maybe he can give Jinyoung one.

And speaking of Jinyoung, he looked at his child only to see the boy with his eyes already closed. His one hand was still gripping a rice ball while the other was up in his mouth, biting the other rice ball _asleep._

It's fucking adorable.

"Jaem, look." he got Jaemin's attention from where he was focused on his food, pointing at the direction of their son. Jaemin followed Jeno's pointing finger, his eyes landing on his very much asleep kid.

He immediately dropped his chopsticks to go to his child and take the food out of his grip. "Oh, baby." he whispered when he saw Jinyoung slightly open his eyes.

"Babe, you should go get your camera. I'll clean him up." Jaemin nodded and stood up to get his polaroid camera.

Jeno got off his seat and picked up the wipes from the table. He looked at his son, who's looking at him with droopy and sleepy eyes, smiling down at him and pinching his tiny nose. Jeno wiped Jinyoung's hands and mouth clean then picked him up from his high chair.

They walked back to the living room, Jeno placing his son on his lap as he sat down on the carpet where Jinyoung had his toys as they waited for Jaemin to get his camera.

Jaemin loves pictures. He loves taking them and he looks good in them. Before they had Jinyoung, he would always bring a camera at every occasion. Most of their friends' pictures were taken by him. Having Jinyoung in their lives just intensified his hobby. Jaemin has Jinyoung's first steps recorded and some cute random moments like the boy eating a large amount of berries or him building a pile of blocks making a somewhat tower. And Jeno's thankful for them. Because he's always at work to witness most of them.

And yesterday, Jaemin was very excited to take a photo of the three of them on his first birthday having Jinyoung in their lives. It's been their tradition ever since they started dating, taking a photo with the same pose every year.

He even said that it's his only wish for his birthday along with having to spend dinner together and if possible, Jeno could come home from work early. It was a simple wish. One would think that it shouldn't even count as one since it's a normal occurrence during birthdays but because Jeno works until 2 AM and it's very difficult to leave a shift without days prior to telling the management, it is a difficult one.

But luckily, he was able to convince one of his co-workers to fill in for his shift. Their manager even told him that she wouldn't have minded if Jeno just told her earlier. She's a middle aged woman who's very family-oriented so she said she really understood Jeno.

Jaemin came back to their living room with his polaroid camera on hand and a party hat on top of his already fading pink hair.

"Cute." Jeno comments, making Jaemin roll his eyes.

"Come here, let's take a picture together first." Jeno carefully put Jinyoung down the carpet, handing him some of the blocks he'd been playing with earlier.

He immediately wrapped his arms around Jaemin's waist (he does it on instinct) hugging him from behind, planting kisses all over his cheek.

Jaemin positioned the camera in front of them, Jeno behind him with his head resting on Jaemin's shoulder. And just like the first picture they ever took back in junior year when they first celebrated Jaemin's birthday as lovers, the camera flashed taking a picture of Jeno with his smile wide and eyes forming crescents while Jaemin showcased his sunshine smile.

Jeno turned Jaemin around to give him a kiss on his lips, all slow and gentle and loving. "Happy birthday, my pretty Nana." he whispered then he went in for another kiss, Jaemin eagerly reciprocating them back.

They pulled away from the kiss, Jaemin asking Jeno to come get Jinyoung for their next photo. He checked the picture that they took and smiled with satisfaction, staring at Jeno's smiley face and still having his heart skip a beat from his beautiful smile.

"Lee Jeno, get your son." he repeated when Jeno was still clinging onto him. He then looked at his boyfriend and it made his eyes roll because Jeno was sticking his tongue out to his son while he hugs him tight.

Fucker was teasing their son. _Like a child._

He looked at Jinyoung who's now furrowing his eyebrows and sleepy eyes _glaring_ at his father. Jaemin lightly smacked Jeno's head, earning a whine from him.

"Oww?!"

"If he cries you're making him sleep and you know very well how long and loud his cries are, Lee Jeno." Jaemin nagged, Jeno pouting behind him like a four-year-old. "Now go get my child before I smack you in the head once again."

Jeno mumbled something along the lines of 'you always take his side' and Jaemin just decided to tune it down.

He comes back with Jinyoung in his arms, another yawn escaping his mouth. Jaemin told Jeno to come stand beside him faster because Jinyoung might fall asleep any minute now.

"Look, baby, what is this?" Jaemin pointed at his polaroid camera, his voice a pitch higher to gain Jinyoung's attention which luckily did, the boy looking directly at the camera with curiosity.

"1, 2,--" Jaemin leaned backwards so his body's pressed against Jeno's, both of them smiled and Jaemin clicked the shutter, the flash flooding through their eyes.

They both looked at Jinyoung to see his reaction to the flash. Jeno laughed hard when he saw his son's eyes grew twice its size, instead of the usual reaction to the light where you shut your eyes tight.

Jaemin laughed along with him, finding his son so, so adorable. He immediately whipped out his phone to take a photo of his son and another one with Jeno imitating him.

Jeno's laugh hasn't subsided yet but he looked at his son and shut his eyes together making the boy copy his gesture.

"He's so fucking hilarious." Jeno said, booping the boy's nose, only a smile on his face now.

"Unlike you." Jaemin commented with a teasing smile to which Jeno whined and glared at him which was the similar glare as Jinyoung's earlier. "Also, no swear words in front of my child."

Jinyoung's eyes were very droopy now, almost asleep on Jeno's arms but he still managed to extend his chubby arms towards Jaemin's direction, all grabby hands.

Jaemin was about to take Jinyoung out of Jeno's hands when Jeno hugged the boy tighter. He walked backwards to go further away from Jaemin which made Jinyoung flail around Jeno's arms and whine, screaming 'mamamamamama' over and over.

And of course Jeno panicked and immediately handed the baby to his mother, Jaemin releasing some of his scent to calm his child down. "Stop teasing your child, Lee Jeno."

"This is favoritism, Jaem." Jeno sulked as he watched his boyfriend rock back and forth, Jinyoung closing his eyes. "He can say 'mama' too." Jaemin just chuckled at Jeno.

"You're being a child." Jaemin said leaving a kiss on Jeno's cheek.

Jeno watched his son's peaceful sleeping face. Seeing his long eyelashes which Jaemin forces that the boy inherited from him. Jeno doesn't believe him entirely because he also has long eyelashes but for his boyfriend's sanity and for his arms not to get slapped, he just agrees.

"Why don't you go take your shower now while I put him to sleep, babe?" Jaemin asked, Jeno nodding at the suggestion. Jeno leaned closer to give his child's incredibly soft cheek a kiss, "Thank you for waiting until I got back home, poophead."

He volunteered to clean up their dining table and Jinyoung's toys in the living room. Jaemin gave him another kiss on the cheek, whispering a soft thank you, then went to their son's room to put him to sleep properly.

After placing everything in the box, and making sure Jaemin is out of sight, Jeno silently ran to the doorway to take the cake he bought inside. He checked if it's still intact, a breath of relief when it still looks the same.

He placed the cake inside the fridge, then he went ahead to clean up the dining table. He put their leftovers into Jaemin's precious tupperwares and placed them inside their fridge. He wiped the table clean and Jinyoung's high chair, then went to the sink to wash the dishes.

Jaemin came back to the kitchen to make Jinyoung a bottle of formula.

As he waited for the hot water to cool down, Jaemin wrapped his arms around Jeno's waist.

"Thank you for coming home early and spending dinner with us." Jaemin said, leaving kisses all over Jeno's nape, near his scent gland.

"Why are you thanking me when you made everything tonight and I just ate?" Jeno turned off the faucet, removed his gloves, and turned around to give Jaemin a hug. "Thank _you_ for the food, baby." he said pressing a long kiss on top of Jaemin's head.

"Thank you for taking care of Jinyoung today when you should've spent the day outside and celebrated."

Jaemin looked at Jeno, hand cupping his face. "It wouldn't be fun without you celebrating with me." Jaemin then leaned in to press kisses all over Jeno's face, Jeno smiling at the feeling. "And don't worry about the food, I love cooking for you and seeing you eat everything I made." he pinched Jeno's high nose then gave it a small peck.

"Food was great, babe. Thank you." Jeno genuinely said with his genuine smile and genuine eyes.

To hide Jaemin's blush, he just slapped the other's arm and let go from their hug. "Enough thanking me and finish washing the dishes." he said without looking at Jeno.

Jeno smiled at his blushy lover and pinched his pinkish cheek. "Cute."

Jaemin ignored the comment (it made his blush a deeper red) and washed his hands to continue making his son's formula.

Jeno put his gloves back on and went back to finishing the dishes. Jaemin went back to Jinyoung's room to bring him his milk.

When Jeno was done, he went straight to their room to get a change of clothes and take a shower.

Jeno strips out of his clothes, entering the shower with the water warm. He relaxes under the warmth, letting his fatigue fall down the drain.

Today, just like every other, was very busy. Jeno had to wake up at 6 AM for his swim practice. Then, he went to his first class at 8, his second at 10 and by the time it's 12 PM, his classes were done for the day.

He then gets an hour to himself, sometimes used to study as much as he can then he's off to his first job at a café three blocks away from their university. From 2-6 PM he works as a barista/waiter there. After that he walks a couple of blocks from the café to proceed on his next job as a waiter at a family restaurant. His shift usually goes from 6:30 - closing hours which was usually at 10:30 but their manager gave him an early pass today because he may have mentioned that it was Jaemin's birthday. He's just extremely lucky to have a very nice boss.

On his usual schedule, he would still have one more job at the convenience store from 11PM - 2 AM but he had someone fill in for him today since he promised Jaemin he'd be home early tonight.

This schedule goes on every Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays. His Tuesday and Thursday mornings are spent waking up at 6 AM to go to swim practice then back home by 8, his classes online on those days and his time to look after Jinyoung because Jaemin goes to school on those days. By 1 PM, Jaemin's back home and it's Jeno's turn to head out to go to work. He works at the same café from 1-6 PM then goes to work at a fastfood chain from 7 PM - 12 AM.

It looks tough, because it is tough, but Jeno has to make do. He has to grow up and mature faster than normal and take responsibility to provide for his family. Since both their parents had kicked them out because of Jaemin's pregnancy.

After stepping out of the shower, Jeno changed into comfortable clothes, picking a comfy shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He then dried off his hair as fast as he could.

With silent and careful steps, he went to Jinyoung's room, spotting Jaemin sitting at a stool beside the crib where Jinyoung is now peacefully sleeping.

Jeno stopped behind Jaemin, crouching down to kiss the top of his head. His hands rested on Jaemin's shoulders, lightly massaging the area. Jaemin moved his head to press a kiss on one of his hands then he just laid his head on top of it.

"Look at him, babe. He looks peaceful." Jaemin said, eyes dripping in adoration for their child.

"He's only cute when he's sleeping." Jeno said playfully, earning a slap on his thigh. "You know I'm kidding." he said in a hushed whisper.

"Let's get out of here before your loud mouth wakes him up." Jaemin said, standing up and carrying the stool he was sitting on to put to the side. Before Jeno could talk back, Jaemin's grip was already on his wrist, pulling him out of Jinyoung's room.

He pulled Jeno out to the living room and pushed him down the couch (with a little too much force), his back meeting the seat cushion. Jaemin then hovered over him to lay to lay on top of Jeno.

"Baby, I wouldn't have said no if you asked me to cuddle but I guess this way's fine too." Jeno said with a teasing smile on his face. His hands wrap around his boyfriend's body, both their legs tangled up with the other's.

Jaemin can feel the rising and falling of Jeno's chest from his position, loving how he can almost feel Jeno's steady heartbeat.

If Jeno's hands automatically land on Jaemin's waist, Jaemin automatically buries his face on the crook of Jeno's neck and shoulder, exactly landing his nose above his scent gland. Jeno's coffee and bourbon and calming his nerves after a very long day.

They just stay like that for a couple of minutes. Jeno combing through Jaemin's hair while the other sucks out all the black coffee and bourbon and the woods Jeno's body can emit.

And it was nice. To just feel safe in the arms of a lover. To have that reassurance of having a home to come back to every single day. To be free of worry and just _breathe._

Jaemin was the first one to break the silence.

"Mark, Hyuck and Renjunnie visited this afternoon." his words are mumbled because of his position, Jeno can feel Jaemin's lips above his neck which feels extremely nice, but he understood every word easily. 

Jeno hummed, signalling Jaemin to continue. "Junnie brought ice cream. Mark and Hyuck got me film for my camera." Jeno looked at Jaemin then, his eyes closed and a smile spread on his lips.

"Chenle and Renjunnie loved playing with Jinyoung. Jisung was scared shitless." Jeno chuckled at that. Jisung gets scared easily ever since they were younger. "Your cousin and best friend called my child ugly, though. I was so close to smacking their heads but Renjun did me a favor and slapped them for me. I just glared."

Expect Mark and Donghyuck to make fun of his child. "They don't mean that, yeah? They're just saying that because our little demon looks like me."

Jaemin raised his head to glare at Jeno for calling his child a demon. Actually, Jinyoung isn't that bad, if not at all. The nickname just stuck.

"But still, my omega instincts get pissed off whenever they call our little _angel_ ugly. He's far from that."

"Is that your way of telling me I'm handsome?" Jeno said, brows raising up and down in a teasing manner. It made Jaemin frown harder. "Don't mind them, babe. As a matter of fact, they're ugly." he just hears Jaemin sigh.

In a swift motion, Jeno flipped them over, making sure his hand protected Jaemin's head in case of any sort of impact. Jeno leaned down and gave Jaemin a light peck on his lips.

"I'll do my best to fight off people who'll call him names, okay? Better yet, we'll teach him how to defend himself from mean people. Without violence, of course." Jaemin still looked at him with a pout on his lips. And of course Jeno kissed that pout away. "You worry too much, mom." Jeno added, pinching his nose which Jaemin swatted.

Jaemin looked like he was looking for words, to fight off Jeno but he just settled with, "You're ugly."

Jeno just laughed at that and with his moon-eyed sunshine smile, he kissed the tip of Jaemin's nose, "I love you too."

And Jaemin's weakness was that.

So he wrapped his arms on Jeno's shoulders, pulling him down for a kiss. He can feel a smile forming on Jeno's lips on his, making his inside transform into a butterfly zoo.

Jeno's hands worked their way on his sides, leaving gentle touches and caressing to relax him better.

He's not so sure but Jaemin really thinks there's magic in Jeno's lips. A touch from them and you just immediately melt. He moves his lips in all the right ways and it sends both fire and electric all over his body, making him feel alive. His tongue asks for permission to enter Jaemin's lips and he just allows him, feeling the extremity of pleasure knocking his lungs out of breath.

Jeno pulled away to let Jaemin breathe in some air he took away from their tiny makeout session. His kisses now travel all over Jaemin's face. From his left cheek up to both his eyes and the whole expanse of his forehead. Down to the entirety of Jaemin's jaw to his adam's apple and finally to Jaemin's most sensitive and pleasurable point, his scent gland. Jeno licked a stripe over there, a smile forming in his lips as he's facing the mark he left there, spreading hundreds and thousands of small kisses making Jaemin release his scent of chocolate, chardonnay and primrose that Jeno can almost taste in his tongue because of how close he is to his scent gland. It's sweet. Exactly just how Jaemin is.

"I love you." Jeno randomly spurted out, probably too intoxicated with Jaemin's extremely addicting and, as Jeno loves to call it, 'valentine sweet scent' "Happy birthday, Jaeminnie."

And as if whiplash, Jeno remembers his surprise.

He suddenly jumped from his position above Jaemin, earning a confused reaction from the younger. "Jen? Is there something wrong, babe?" Jaemin genuinely looked concerned, breaking Jeno's heart a tiny bit.

He leaned in to give the younger a peck, further confusing the younger. "Stay here, baby."

Jeno stood up and walked up to the fridge taking the box out and closing it behind him. Jaemin's eyes grew big when he saw what Jeno had on his hands.

He laughed at the look on his lover's face.

"That's exactly stinky pants' facial expression earlier with the polaroid camera." Jeno was all smiles, the one that makes Jaemin fall in love with him every single time, but when Jeno sat down, he received a loud slap on his thighs.

"What?" Jeno half whined, half screamed, Jaemin shushing him down. "That hurt!" he added in a loud whisper.

"I told you not to get me anything!" Jaemin whined, looking at the box of cake on their coffee table. Jeno looked at him and he kind of looked pissed.

"If you really expected me to not get you anything at all, that's where you went wrong." The older insisted, opening the box to reveal a chocolate cake with a 'Happy Birthday Nana ♡' in the middle, cherries surrounding the greeting.

It's not like Jaemin hates cakes or celebrating his birthday. In fact, he loves them. He loves romantic gestures like this and Jeno knows it. That's why every birthday or anniversary they had before, Jeno would have expensive surprises and grand gestures. Jeno loved spoiling him before.

But that was before. That was when they haven't been cut off by their family. When they were extremely lucky enough to have parents who funded their studies and cost of living. That wasn't _now._ And with their situation right now, he wouldn't want Jeno spending even a dime for him.

"Lee Jeno." he said with all seriousness. But before Jaemin can say anything and nag him, Jeno cuts him off.

"I know. But your birthday happens once a year, yeah? And this didn't make a dent on our budget at all. I saved up some of my money from not taking the bus sometimes for this."

Jeno really thought Jaemin would take that explanation well and understand all of this and eat cake with him with his giant smile across his face.

But oh boy was he wrong. In fact, it fuelled Jaemin's growing anger even more.

"You walked to uni just for this?" Jeno internally slapped himself from saying that, realizing that it was an extremely wrong move. "Jeno, you function from four hours of sleep and you even thought of spending some of that four hours walking for 30 minutes from here to uni?"

"To be fair, I only did it for 4 days--"

"That's beyond the point!" his voice was louder now as frustration builds up in him. "Jen, not a day goes by where I don't think of your health and all the sacrifices you've been making. You know that the last thing I want is to add to the burden of our situation right now. I just--"

"Na Jaemin. You do not ever say that you're a burden to me in my face. Or ever. Do not ever say something like that." Jeno had his grip on his shoulders, "Look at me." Jaemin refuses to, because his tears are starting to form out of frustration. Jeno hates it when he cries.

But Jeno held his chin, bringing his face up. Jaemin sniffed, stopping himself from crying as he looked straight into Jeno's universe eyes.

"I love you." he started. "I did this because even in the smallest way, I get to celebrate you." Jaemin's tear ducts betrayed him as a stray tear fell off his cheek, Jeno catching it with his thumb. "You deserve much more than this and I feel extremely guilty that this is all I can give you."

"I'm sorry for frustrating you, hmm? I really thought you'd love this." Jeno opened his arms, inviting Jaemin for a hug. Which of course, Jaemin wouldn't deny the older of.

Jeno showered his forehead with kisses and low whispers of apologies. "Stupid Lee Jeno, making his Nana cry on his birthday." he added making Jaemin smile.

Jaemin gave a lingering kiss on Jeno's lips, pulling away after with their foreheads bumping. "My stupid Lee Jeno." he said, Jeno wiping off his tears, making him form a smile. That was not safe for Jeno's heart.

They took the matches from the kitchen cabinet and lit the pink candle that comes with the cake. Jeno sang happy birthday not so beautifully but Jaemin appreciates it. What's important is his effort.

Jaemin closed his eyes, making his wish which took quite a while. He blew the candle off with Jeno quietly clapping after. Smiling at Jaemin and whispering yet another birthday greeting.

And since Jaemin is Jaemin, he took multiple pictures of the cake, even took a selca with Jeno.

"Thank you, Jen." Jaemin said. Sniffing because of the runny nose he got from crying. A polaroid photo of himself with his cake in hand, looking up at Jeno with twinkles in his eyes. Jeno just pointed at his cheek, asking for a kiss and Jaemin obliged almost immediately.

They cut the cake and had a slice each for themselves. Jaemin asked where he bought the cake from and Jeno answered that he got it from the café he works at with a discount. Which made Jaemin feel less bad since Jeno got it for a lower price. And it tastes glorious, Jaemin gobbling up almost half of his slice in record time.

"We should've let Jinyoung experience this." he said, stealing a bite from Jeno's plate which doesn't matter to the other.

"Nah. Little gremlin can have his own cake to blow on his birthday. Today's all about you."

"Where do you get all your nicknames for my baby?" he nagged to which Jeno replied with a shrug. But really, Jaemin doesn't mind all the nicknames Jeno gives their child at all. It's cute. Except for the demon one.

They talked a little bit more about their days. Jaemin explaining more about Jisung's visit and how he almost dropped their child.

"Oh shit, babe. I have three more gifts." he said, putting down his plate and reaching for his backpack on the farthest side of the couch where he left it earlier.

Jaemin had an unamused face, holding onto his fork rather dangerously, pointing it at Jeno. But he just gave up and slumped in his seat, a sign of giving up when Jeno looked at him with excitement in his eyes.

"I don't have the energy to be mad at you anymore so just hand them over." that made Jeno laugh. At least he's taking this more lightly than the cake fiasco.

Jeno instructed him to close his eyes for these ones. He placed his empty plate on the coffee table then he closed both eyes. All he can hear is the sound of plastic being moved and Jeno zipping his bag.

He felt the part of their couch beside him dip, Jeno close to him now.

"Open."

Jaemin opened his eyes to a single white lily in Jeno's hand. His lover handed it to him which he accepted with a grateful smile. He lifted the lily up to his nose and inhaled the smell, his lungs filling with it's gorgeous scent.

"I only bought one because you're the only one for me." Jaemin fake gagged at his corny comment. "But really, I only got you one because we're broke." he jokingly said which made Jaemin smile. At least he's honest.

"Thank you, Jen." Jaemin leaned in to kiss his lips, giving them a couple of pecks. "You could've given this to me first and we wouldn't have had the drama." Jaemin said jokingly as he admired the flower.

Jeno handed him his second gift and it was a lip balm. He said it's for Jaemin's 'crusty ass lips'. Which earned him a smack in the thigh and a glare from Jaemin.

His last gift was a card. It was inside a pink envelope and when he pulled it out, it says 'today the world revolves around you' with a dog in an astronaut costume surrounded by planets and shooting stars. Cute.

"Can I read it now?" Jaemin asked, stretching out his long legs and placing them above Jeno's thighs. Jeno nodded.

"It's long though. I got too serious when I was writing that at the bookstore." Jeno said as he massaged Jaemin's leg.

"Well, that's just like you so it's fine." he opened the letter and it is _long._ "You don't even write essays as long as this."

"If I get to talk about you in my essays I can even make one that's longer than that and get an A+." It was corny and Jaemin was supposed to hate it but bright crimson just spread in his cheeks. He used the card to lightly smack Jeno on the head. "Cheesy."

"Just read."

  
  
  


_To: Na Jaemin_ ♡

_Hi, baby. Ew it's disgusting to start a letter with that. Anyway, happy 22nd birthday to you! Woohoo, we're the same age again! This is the 15th year I get to spend your birthday with you, the 5th as your lover and the 1st with Jinyoung in our lives. Each year I always tell you how grateful I am to have you in my life, may it be as my best friend or my lover or my soulmate. This past almost 2 years has been the hardest for us, must've been harder for you, and I am in awe at how strong-willed you are through everything. You carried and nurtured our son inside you for 9 whole months and never did I hear you complain about it. I will never know the hardships you went through with your pregnancy but with what I saw, I know that it was tough. And I also know that you hid all your troubles from me through those times because I had to work to sustain us and our then incoming baby._

Jaemin's eyes suddenly turn blurry. Tears welling up on his eyes as he reads Jeno's words. He leaned closer to his lover, now sitting on his lap and head resting on his shoulder.

He continues.

_It must've been tough. To endure going to uni, as your belly grew. To sacrifice and leave all the things that you loved doing to keep the baby safe. Not only from the physical pain it gave you but also the words people threw at you. Renjun would always tell me what people called you in class, which infuriates me now that I remember them, but you never told me anything because you don't want to trouble me. Which hurt me at the time because as your partner, your best friend and your soulmate I wanted to help. But your kind and understanding heart just took everything. I really admire that in you, Jaem. Well I admire everything about you but your heart stands out most of the time._

_I will forever despise myself because I'm partly, mostly really, the reason why your family turned their backs on you. You cherish your family the most and being with me entailed you losing them and I am so, so, so sorry for that. I know you miss them every day. And if I could do anything for them to accept you in their household once again, I would do anything. For you. I'm sorry that this is the life that I could give you. No more spontaneous trips, no more fancy restaurants and cute bouquets. Now all we have is a two-bedroom apartment. I can't take you out on a drive to the beach or to a park and have a picnic. With me now, we have to sometimes make do from what is available from the discount aisle of a supermarket. I promised to give you the entire world but I am here writing this letter and thinking about how much I can spend for your birthday present without denting our budget. I hate myself because I can't even see you for more than 6 hours a day on weekdays and we live together. I sometimes think of quitting the swim team so I could spend my mornings with you and Jinyoung but I can't. Because the swim team pays for my tuition fee. You even took the responsibility of raising our child because I can't be there for him all the time. And I'm so sorry I can't be Jinyoung's father 24/7. I'm lacking, in so many aspects. And through all that, you just understood. With your beautiful smile and radiant eyes, you just understood. And you don't know how much that means to me._

Jaemin paused. He had to.

With the card still in his hand, he wrapped his arms around Jeno's shoulders and gave him an extremely tight hug, Jeno reciprocating the gesture. He releases his scent to calm Jaemin down from crying because the younger is sobbing now. Face tear stained, nose bright red and lips wobbling.

Jaemin closed his eyes to savor their hug. The past years flashing before his eyes, further pushing his emotions to scatter all over the place.

When they pulled away, Jeno used the pad of his thumb to catch all the stains that still keep on flowing.

Now clinging to Jeno like a koala, Jaemin continues.

_This part of the card is where I tell you how much I love you. This will be cheesy and you'll have this against me until we get old but here goes nothing. Na Jaemin, you are the most beautiful person in this universe. Physically, you're hot as hell. Nobody would ever think that you already gave birth because of your banging body._

Jaemin giggles at that.

_But you know what's the sexiest curve on your body? Your smile. Fuck that's cheesy!!!!!! I saw that on the internet one time, okay? But it's true! Your smile is your greatest feature, you can even ask people about it if you don't believe me. Your smile can light up the darkest room and maybe that's why I get through everything because I have you. Another beautiful thing about you? I have mentioned it in this letter but it is your heart. Which is pure and golden and is as big as the entire universe. You're always kind to everyone, even if they do you wrong, your heart never loses its space to forgive and shower constant love. You have respect for everyone and your sense of justice is always intact. You love giving and you won't hesitate to have nothing if it means everyone would have something. And it's so easy to love you, who wouldn't fall for someone as perfect as you? You don't just love because you are love itself. You stand and personify love every single passing day. I truly am lucky to have the universe's favorite in my arms. And if I were the universe, you'd be my favorite too, not gonna lie._

_Ultimately, I am grateful for your existence. Thank you for choosing to be with me and Jinyoung. I thank the universe that you're the one they gave to complete me. That I get to come home to your valentine's scent. You give me a reason to live every single day, in fact you are my reason. We're each other's family now. Lean on me when you need to. I'm still the Jeno from all those years who's your shoulder to lean on._

_I won't promise a lot now. I won't promise to not make you cry, because if I did, I would break that the most. You cry out of laughter, you cry out of joy, you cry in bed ;), so not that. The only promise I'll write is the promise to love you. I'm very confident with that._

_I love you heaps, Na Jaemin._

_Thank you for accepting my heart and holding onto it tightly yet carefully. With you, I am secure yet free. With you, I breathe easy. With you, I weep and bleed and feel. With you, I am alive. With you, I am in love._

_You are where my home is and thank you for building one with me and Jinyoung._

_You have my heart and soul, and all of me is yours. I'm in love with the entire world inside your eyes._

_All yours,_

_Lee Jeno_

  
  


Jaemin closed the letter and placed it gently at the space in the couch beside them.

He faced Jeno again and pulled him close to his chest, holding onto him as tightly as he could without suffocating him. Holding onto Jeno so tight, knowing he's just there. Holding tight as if he was going to disappear and vanish into thin air.

But an arm wrapped around Jaemin's waist which equals the tightness of his hold. And that assured Jaemin that _he won't_ as Jeno buries his head on Jaemin's nape.

And Jaemin just let out. Everything.

His cries weren't just sobs anymore. They weren't just tears slowly spilling out of his eyes. Jaemin was weeping, bawling, wailing. His eyes were like heavy rain pouring down his face, his cries thunder.

What's more frustrating is that Jaemin does not know why he's crying. It's from pain and sadness. But also from relief and happiness. Whatever it is, or wherever all these tears are coming from, Jaemin just wanted them out.

He digs deep and a memory of his parents cursing them flashed behind his closed eyes. It was almost as clear as day how he remembers their reaction and the words they used towards him and Jeno. And there's this slight pang in his heart as he thinks deep. Then faces of the people from university flashed, calling him 'nothing but a useless fucktoy who's so stupid he got pregnant' and it rings in his ears. It echoes inside his head and he just wants them gone. All of it.

The voices of his parents, the voices of everyone at school, the voices of the people who turned their backs at them because they made a mistake.

"Jen- Jeno. Jeno, I--" he gets cut off by another sob and he's frustrated because he can't even speak properly.

Now he's breathing heavy, his lungs searching for air that he now takes from his mouth because his nose clogged. His grip tighter on Jeno which starts to hurt, with his hands also gripping tight on Jeno's hair, pulling unconsciously.

But Jeno just lets him. He's clueless why this is happening but he just lets him.

Since Jaemin gave birth, he's been melancholy at times. The doctors told them it's postpartum depression and that Jaemin might have it longer than others because he didn't have the best environment during his pregnancy. And he hates that he knows he's partly to blame for always being out and it hurts him every time he's like this. It hurts because Jeno doesn't know what to do. It hurts because Jaemin has to go through this.

"It's alright, Jaem, baby. I'm right here."

He gently pats Jaemin's back to calm him down. Or to just let him know he's there. Because Jeno _really doesn't know what to do._

Everytime it happens, all he does is this very same thing to let Jaemin know he's here as he prays to God or to whoever's out there to take all Jaemin's pain away.

Jeno just lets Jaemin but it doesn't mean his heart is not breaking into a million tiny pieces as he listens to all his broken cries and desperate attempts at calling his name. His hatred towards himself creep under his skin knowing that he triggered this.

He doesn't know when it started spilling but there's tears in his eyes now as well, wetting Jaemin's nape. And Jeno does not cry that much.

But because he sees Jaemin all broken down with his tears seemingly unstoppable, Jeno doesn't try to stop his tears. The love of his life is at his most vulnerable state right now. In the 15 years they've known each other, this is one of the most pained he's seen Jaemin.

And maybe his emotional baggage has become heavy as well and he just wants to let go of them.

They stay like that for a little more, holding each other and scared to let go. They cry and cry and cry. Until Jeno's eyes run dry. Until Jaemin is hiccupping from all the crying.

Jeno was the one who braved to break the silence.

"Baby, would it be okay for you to move? You need to drink water." Jeno moved a little but Jaemin tightened his grip more. He shook his head as if saying that he doesn't need water.

"It's just over the coffee table, love. If you could just loosen your grip, Nana. I won't go anywhere. I promise." Jeno waited for a while before Jaemin loosened his tight hug. Because Jeno promised he's not going anywhere. Jeno never breaks a promise.

Jeno looked at Jaemin to see a version of Jaemin that breaks his heart a little. Not because he looks bad, Jaemin is never ugly, but because he looks extremely tired from crying his heart out.

He stood up to reach for the pitcher on the coffee table, pouring some water into a glass. Jaemin's hand immediately found their way on his when he sat back down beside him.

His free hand held the glass on Jaemin's lips, the other drinking everything in the glass as if he didn't say he doesn't need water earlier.

Jeno placed the glass back down on the table and faced Jaemin back again. His hand went directly to caress his swollen eyes, down to the now drying tear stain on his cheeks.

Jaemin just stared at Jeno as he lifted the hem of his shirt to wipe all the tears, sweat and snot on Jaemin's face.

"That's disgusting, Jen, don't do that." he said, finally able to use his voice, now hoarse and quite shaky. He also realized his throat burns.

As if he didn't hear anything, Jeno continued to wipe his snot with his shirt and he can see all the gooey liquid on Jeno's black shirt. He internally gags.

"Jen, that's disgusting!" he scolded, raising his voice a bit which he regrets.

"We've seen everything about each other, snot's nothing to me now."

"But still!" Jaemin whined.

"Well then, how about this?" Jeno moved his head and pointed at a wet part. "My hair's soaked in your snot as well."

Jaemin's eyes grew at that, also noting how heavy his eyes felt, looking at Jeno's head with pure disgust. He screamed when he saw the other touch the goo in his hair.

"Eww!" Jeno had to shush him down. And he remembers Jinyoung's sleeping peacefully in his room.

"Take off your shirt." Jaemin ordered him. Jeno gave him a scandalized look but he obeyed. Careful with it so all the snot doesn't get on his skin.

Jaemin took the shirt and wiped Jeno's hair with the clean part.

"Sorry, I broke down. I didn't mean to." he blurted out all of a sudden as he meticulously removed all the snot remnants in his hair.

"Shouldn't I be the one who's sorry? I made you cry on your birthday." Jeno reached out to gently caress the other's face.

"The only times you made me cry on my past birthdays were in bed, now look at you." Jaemin said with a small smile on his face, giving light punches on Jeno's chest.

Jeno keeps his thumbs busy by caressing Jaemin's cheek just right below his swollen eyes, looking fondly at his lover. "I can't even give you mind blowing birthday sex now."

"Yeah." Jaemin said, inching close to Jeno. Jeno wrapped an arm around his shoulder to keep him closer. They just hate space, okay?

It's true though, because Jeno works every night and sleeps on his only day off every Sunday. Sex has been crossed off their priorities ever since they had to adapt to this new situation. The only times they have is whenever Jaemin is in heat or whenever Jeno's in his rut. And as much as Jeno wants to go to work during his rut, his body won't be able to take all the stress along with it. He tried once and he swears it was as if he was torturing himself.

"But really. Sorry for making you cry so hard today. I wasn't thinking much when I wrote the letter." Jeno apologized, pressing small kisses on Jaemin's temple. The younger reached out for Jeno's hand to play with them, tracing some of his protruding veins.

Jaemin shook his head, bringing one of his hands to his lips. "I loved your letter. It was genuine and it felt so much like you. Maybe that's why it made me cry."

He snuggled closer to bury his face and drown on Jeno's scent, distracting himself from thinking about the letter because it's starting to make him emotional again.

But when he can't smell Jeno, he felt panicky and his head went haywire, making his tears fall down once again. Jaemin is shocked that there are still tears left.

Suddenly, Jeno felt his nape get wet so he pulled Jaemin off him to see tears present in his eyes again.

"Why? What's wrong, Nana?" he said in Jeno's familiar sweet tone. Which he uses when he's panicky.

Jaemin wiped his tears desperately with the back of his hands, looking incredibly adorable in Jeno's eyes but now's not the time to think about that.

"I can't smell you, Jen. I hate this. This is the worst." Jaemin is starting to look extremely upset now and Jeno wonders how much tears his eyes can secrete.

"Because you have a clogged nose from crying earlier, baby." he said, sweeping off the hair on Jaemin's forehead that is now sticking there because he's been sweaty. Jaemin looks at Jeno and wonders where he gets his patience.

"Pass me my poor shirt so you can blow your nose."

It crossed his mind to just stand up and get some tissue paper from the kitchen but he's lazy and Jaemin will whine if he's gone even if it's to get something he needs.

With the most unappealing and unattractive noise in the world, Jaemin unloaded the contents of his nose in his shirt. It's so gross and he thinks he's gonna burn that shirt. R.i.p. Jeno's black shirt.

After throwing the shirt on the other side of the room, Jaemin sniffed to check if he can smell now, smiling to himself when he can finally smell Jeno once again.

He buries himself on Jeno's neck, for the hundredth time that night, heart fluttering as heaps and heaps of Jeno's addicting scent plus his natural musky smell floods his nostrils. And he's just so in love with his scent of coffee and bourbon and the comfort of the hint of rainforest.

Jaemin moved them, so he's on top of Jeno once more, the elder laying down on the couch with his head on a pillow. Jaemin's hands rest on Jeno's bare chest, indulging the warmth his body emits.

His hand travels down to Jeno's abdominal muscles, fingers tracing every line and dip of his six packs. And he keeps his hands there, to just feel. Grateful because Jeno never fails to make him feel.

"You should never hate yourself for what my parents did to me, to us." Jaemin starts, lifting his face so his head is now on top of Jeno's shoulder. He looked up to see the elder looking at him, reaching to play with his hair.

"There's no family for me other than you and Jinyoung. I may sound mean but I don't need them. I don't need people in my life who will hurt both you and our son. I'd rather not have them if I get to keep both of you."

It doesn't feel nice to recall everything. Every harsh word. Both physical and emotional pain Jeno had to go through when they told Jaemin's parents about his pregnancy. It feels like forcing to open a wound that you tried your hardest to heal. But Jaemin continues.

"And I don't miss them the same way I miss you every morning when you go to uni and work. I don't feel the same way I miss having you around with them. I don't ache because I don't get to keep them by my side for hours on end everyday because only you can make me feel that." Jaemin's eyes are starting to betray him again for the fourth time but he lets them flow. Because he won't win against them.

"There's no family in people who would throw you out like ours did." he raised his hands to Jeno's face and traced the beautiful features of his face. "And there won't ever be a family that feels the same way as you and Jinyoung make me feel."

Jaemin cupped Jeno's face as his tears spilled on and on, his forehead pressed on the other's with his eyes closed. Holding his entire world in his bare hands.

Jeno did the same and they stayed like that for a while. In almost complete silence, Jaemin's sniffs and desperate breaths from his now clogging nose the only sounds in the room.

"You're crying again."

"These are happy tears, dumbass." he leaned down to press a kiss on Jeno's lips, one that lingers. "I just love you so much, do you know that?" Jeno nods.

"Thank you for spending my birthday albeit filled with tears." he started as he stared at Jeno's galaxy eyes. "I didn't know I've been carrying all those and if I didn't release all those, I wouldn't know what could've happened." Jeno nods, saying he understands.

"Thank you for always working hard for us. I'm not the only one who sacrificed here, you know? You're always tired but you never complained."

Jeno has his eyes staring at his own with a familiar smile that graces his face. Jaemin smiled back.

"You're the only one for me, Lee Jeno. We both know that." he squished both Jeno's cheek, his lips puckering which Jaemin kissed.

Both their scents fill the room, coffee and bourbon and chocolates and chardonnay on a rainy spring day. And it feels warm and familiar as their lips mold into each other's.

Jaemin's eyes hurt. His nose is somehow still clogged and his throat stings. His head is pounding from all the crying he did but he feels light. 

His heart feels warm. 

And he feels so in love.

Jeno pulled away from the kiss lifting a finger to boop his nose just like how he usually does with Jinyoung.

"This is why I don't promise to not make you cry. Look how many times I broke it from just tonight if I promised you that." his hands then travel to caress his eyelid, leaving sweeping motions of comfort.

"But you're keeping the one you promised, right?" Jeno gave him his crescent smile that feels so much like the comfort his morning coffee gives him.

Maybe it's somehow true that Jaemin is the universe's favorite to be given the best and most perfect person to ever walk this planet. 

"Oh, of course, baby. I'd love you in every lifetime. You won't get rid of me easily. Or at all, ever. We're stuck forever, Nana." he said with confidence in both his eyes and the tone of his voice. Jaemin's heart smiles.

"I love the sound of that." His heart backflips at the thought because Jeno never breaks his promises.

And you best believe that the assurance and Jeno's lovely laughter after he said that is the greatest gift he'll ever receive. 

There's no such thing better than to have someone irrevocably in love with you the same way as you are to them.

**Author's Note:**

> hello, again! if you made it to the end, thank you for giving this some of your time! and sorry because i made jaemin cry so much :( i would love it if you leave your feedback on the comments <3
> 
> also, i have had this story in my drafts for a while and i was thinking if it's worth giving it a shot and post some snippets of this universe. let me know if that sounds okay?
> 
> lastly, if you want, you can find me on twt my handle is [@colossaljeno](https://twitter.com/colossaljeno) . i'm not always there but if you want to talk or something, that's where i'll be. also, my cc is [drippinIove](https://curiouscat.qa/drippinIove) if you have anything you wanna ask :D
> 
> i cried more than i could imagine while i was writing this :D


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